You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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