I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
