im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
We are all done wearing pants today
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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