if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
