new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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