I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
