honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
