Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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