They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
