You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Houston, we have a squirter
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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