White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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