when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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