You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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