ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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