you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
