He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
