My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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