Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
