they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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