real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
