I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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