Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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