He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize