So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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