This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
