Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
