how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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