Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
