the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
