Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
