p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
My dad just said "fuck circus"
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
