I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
