a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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