Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Randomize
