I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
