I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
