whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
