I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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