Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
