My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
