Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Well I just put wine in my tea
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Im part way to drunk.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
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