So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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