Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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