My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Randomize
