I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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