508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
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