Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Randomize
