Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
This is the high leading the old right now
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
