You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
As shirtless as possible
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
NoShamevember. You game?
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
