? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
