her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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