I'm drive I can fine osifer
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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