So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Randomize
