so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
