how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
