I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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