I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize
