hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
