My nipple is on Facebook.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Randomize
