Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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