you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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