so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
