Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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