champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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