super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Randomize
