Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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