you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
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