im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Watching her eat just hurts me
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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