Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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