So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
