I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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