The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
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