you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
