The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
