just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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