I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
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