So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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