i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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