I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
