smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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